How to Catch a Cheating Spouse
One of the major deterrents in discovering infidelity is the doubting spouse’s reluctance to find out the truth. It is so much easier to believe the lies of a cheating spouse than to face the pain of knowing. In order to catch a cheating spouse, a doubting spouse will need to look past the fear and inconvenience so that peace of mind can be attained.
A suspicious spouse has more chances of catching a cheating spouse by acting dumb at least in front of the cheater when it comes to matters related to the suspicion of infidelity. Bringing out a barrage of accusations without any proof to support them will only serve to give the cheating spouse more ammunition to cover-up his/her illicit activities. Once the doubting spouse reveals what he/she thinks is happening, the cheating spouse merely adjusts to allay the suspicion. In effect, the cheater is provided ways to circumvent discovery by the cheated spouse himself/herself thereby allowing the betrayal to progress even more.
Cheaters will exploit the trust provided by their faithful spouses. They will use such trust for their own selfish purpose even to the extent of making the spouse feel guilty for even thinking that the cheater is capable of cheating. Cheaters will try to look hurt or angry when confronted with the spouse’s suspicions in the effort to turn the tables and effectively transfer the “fault” to the faithful partner. He/she can or will cite the partner’s “lack of trust” as the main problem of the marital conflict to deviate from the real issue of infidelity. Not a few faithful spouses have been stopped from pursuing further investigation through this tactic but doubting spouses should be smart enough to realize the cheater’s intention.
It is important that suspicions are not allowed to help the cheater maintain his/her lies. Doubting spouses have their own signs that can be read by the cheaters. In the efforts to catch a cheating spouse, it is possible that the opposite can happen. Cheating spouses can catch doubting spouses when they manifest signs such as insecurity, anxiousness, and over inquisitiveness. Since it is the primary objective of the cheating spouse not to get caught, these signs can be used by the cheater to modify his/her cheating behavior accordingly.
In truth, cheaters hold a distinct advantage over their partners specifically the serial type, who has gained the exceptional skills of using every situation for his/her purpose. That is why it is critical for the doubting spouses not to provide further advantage to the cheater through their own doing. To catch a cheating spouse is similar to a mind game, where each one tries to think ahead of the other so that the other can be caught.
In mind games, competitors do not reveal their respective strategies. A doubting spouse should operate in the same manner in trying to catch a cheating spouse. The strategy is to find out as much as possible, and then plan actions based on available information. If efforts of catching a cheating spouse are to be successful, the element of surprise should be present.
Investigation should be carried out in a very discreet manner as not to cause unnecessary ripples in family relationship, work environments, and the social circle. Utmost care and sensitivity in carrying out the investigative work can protect innocent people from being involved, while preserving the marriage when it is finally confirmed that no cheating has actually occurred. Although the ultimate purpose is to catch a cheating spouse, a confirmed faithful spouse is always a welcome development in any marriage.
Everyone has the right to know the truth if one is expected to decide intelligently on matters as important as marriage. Dissolving a marriage should not be merely based on suspicions but rather on confirmed suspicions. It is such a waste to end a relationship because of a hunch or a feeling since no one would really know for sure if infidelity occurred unless it is proven. Even after catching a cheating spouse, reconciliation is still possible between couples but the path to success is admittedly not easy.