Social Portrait of Cheating Wife
How does a cheating wife appear in the eyes of society? Is she represented by a single profile? Has society been able to establish the portrait of a cheating wife?
A cheating wife can come in all forms, from different backgrounds, and of various circumstances. Since we can only at best appropriate the description of a cheating wife, it would probably help to know the stereotypes. Some may fall into several categories or none at all and this lack of definition is what sometimes makes it difficult to detect a cheating wife.
The Unappreciated Wife
Since women are known to be generally more forgiving of a husband’s fault, the most common stereotype of a cheating wife is that of an unappreciated wife. Even when husbands fail to show their appreciation for a hardworking wife, women are not expected to respond by cheating. A woman is expected by society to endure it and continue to be the loving wife that she is and hope that her husband will learn to appreciate her by some miraculous intervention.
Have we got some news for society to consider! Not all women will suffer through this lack of appreciation indefinitely. Many women will find and have found the lacking appreciation from other men and end up cheating on their husbands. Women are said to be highly emotional beings and the inattentiveness of a man can trigger emotions that a woman may not be aware that she possess.
The unappreciated wife is also referred to as the neglected romantic. Many women will not be able to accept that romance has gone out of their lives which they thought they will have forever. When they entered marriage, romantics want romance in their relationship and will find it one way or the other, with or without the husband’s cooperation. It is such a tragedy that the desired romance is found in another man’s arms. It has to be noted that romance here is not merely limited to the sexual act but also includes all the other rituals that make the courting stage exciting and thrilling.
The Seduced Cheater
The seduced cheater is somewhat related to the unappreciated wife in the sense that cheating was not originally sought by the woman. However, because of a certain weakness that arises from a less-than ideal relationship with the husband, the woman becomes an easy target for opportunistic men. When a woman “announces” to the world that she is lonely in her marriage because of whatever reason she may have, there is a tendency to construe such announcement as a willingness to entertain other relationships.
The act of seduction is typically applied on the young. Although it is true that young lonely wives have been seduced into having an affair for not knowing any better, mature women can also be seduced in the same way. Not all women will be able to effectively handle a shower of attention and advances from men. It is a universal truth that it feels good when someone shows appreciation or romantic attention to a person.
The success of the male seducer usually depends on two things – the state wherein the marriage is in and the state of mind/disposition of the woman. When temptation comes knocking, a woman in a good and working marriage generally has more emotional and physical defenses to ward-off infidelity. The very presence of the husband and the strong rapport between spouses are obvious obstacles to a seducer. Of course, this is not without exception since some women also cheat in spite of being in a “good” marriage. The exact reason may be unclear but infidelity in this case is believed to be founded on opportunity and the temptation itself. When a possible affair with someone is just too tempting to ignore and opportunity such as a one-night stand presents itself, a vulnerable woman will possibly end up cheating.
The Vengeful Betrayed
A woman scorned and betrayed by a husband through infidelity sometimes reacts in ways that may not necessarily be right. Being on the receiving end of a marital betrayal, cheated women can sometimes blur the lines between right and wrong. The underlying motive of this type of female cheater is revenge. It is mainly about giving the philandering husband a taste of his own medicine.
The general idea is to let the cheating husband go through the same torment and anguish underwent by the betrayed wife. For some women perhaps, no words can aptly describe what they’ve been through thus they demonstrate it. Often, the decision to retaliate is emotionally loaded and reason or common sense does not play much part in decision-making.
Because there is no actual and genuine desire to cheat, the pleasure derived from cheating is hinged on the suffering of the husband. Cheating backfires when the husband exhibits no care about her wife’s actions whatsoever. This is why it should be noted that revenge of this kind only succeeds when the original offender stands to lose or feel something about the retaliation. Without this, the vengeful wife can only end up hurting herself.
Even after a successful retaliation and all the anger have been spent, gaining happiness and peace may still remain elusive for the betrayed woman. Women are strongly cautioned against letting their emotions get the better of them when they discover spousal infidelity. The best choice is either to work on mending the marriage or leave it to start life anew. Betrayed women who end up cheating as well are women who had no initial intention of being unfaithful. Their sense of deliberateness to cheat only comes upon the discovery of the betrayal.
The Deliberate Infidel
Just as there are men who seem to live to cheat on their wives, there are women who cheat on their husbands without remorse or compunction. They don’t seek out to justify their actions; they just do it because cheating, at least to them, is a natural thing to do. It is widely believed that there is a direct connection with status or power with the deliberateness of cheating. In other words, the women who believe that they can get away with it are the most likely deliberate infidels.
Cheating carries a certain stigma especially on a woman as dictated by standards of society. When a woman therefore approaches infidelity as something she can get away with, she is sufficiently confident that her status will always tide her over in whatever controversy or trouble her cheating brings her. In fact, she may even be assured of her husband’s continued support for her regardless of her cheating.
Those women who may not have the same access to power as privileged women and yet cheat on their husbands may actually be having their own power play too. Having intense emotional control over the husband makes it possible for some women to play the field and escape virtually unscathed. When husbands allow their wives to play around, they usually get what they expect.
Although there are many cheating women as statistics would show, deliberate infidels remain a minority. Most cheating women feel that they have been brought to the situation by reasons associated with being an unappreciated wife, a seduced cheater, or a vengeful betrayed. Women still rarely cheat without reason although these reasons will always be subjective.
Society at large still expects women to be faithful to their spouses whatever situation they are in. Double standards still prevail when cheating is either accepted or rejected based on the gender of the cheater. Standards will have to do some catching up with reality.